My middle girl is on the swim team at our country club and she is by far the best swimmer in her age group (Proud Swim Nanny right here), however she is only seven. She, like half of the team are on there for competition and enjoyment. She really loves to swim and loves to compete as well, however the other half of the team is not there for those reasons. They are there because there parents are making them spend some time outside this summer, instead of sitting inside watching Nickelodeon,--which would have been my choice as a kid, but now you couldn't pay me to watch the garbage that is on there-- and snacking all day. It wasn't until the first swim meet that I realized kids like the ones on the swim team are going to run the world one day and it is going to be a sad day when it happens.
The relay team that she is on consist of three other kids her age, one competitive, two forced to be there. As soon as they blew the horn my kid was off and once she touched the wall, the next swimmer went just as fast, but sadly the last two laps were completed by the other members and since they could care less, they placed sixth. My first thought was sixth place, why even bother, what color is that ribbon, brown? I understand you need to support your children and encourage them to do there best, but sixth place. After third place there should be a participation "high five" because once you go past third you are basically saying "good job for finishing." But that wasn't the part that scared me, it was seeing a kid freak out over coming in second out of twelve. He was inconsolable. He stood there screaming and throwing his hands up in the air like they had just told he came in twelfth. As a matter of fact the kid that came in twelfth showed no emotion and later appeared happy with his white ribbon (after eighth place they start repeating the colors). But the second place child never appeared happy. When his parents tried to console him it only made it worse because he then yelled at them. It was in that moment that I thought he would soon be taking a trip to the bathroom, but no his parents allowed him to berate them and the other children. Once his moment--as his mother called it--was over he collected his swim cap and goggles and left the pool.
Even though he was gone I couldn't get over the fact that a child had acted that way in public. I thought back to when I was a child and wondered if I ever acted that way, and what I would do if one of my girls ever behaved that way in public. As there nanny it is my job to make sure they behave the right way and even though I know they would never do anything like that I have seen it done by other children enough to be scared. Scared of what the world will become when we have kids who get a ribbon for twelfth place and who throw a fit over second place. It gave me reassurance to know that other people have this fear as well (enough people for a someecard to be made in it's honor). I know this is something small to be scared about and I'm not losing sleep at night over but it was situations like that, that made me realize the world needs some losers. We can't have our kids thinking they deserve a ribbon for everything they do, if that's the case then I would be giving out ribbons to my youngest for washing her hands after using the bathroom and using a fork instead of her fingers to eat. I would have to not only repeat colors but make up new ones. We need to let our kids know that they are doing a great job with a word of encouragement or congratulations not trophies and ribbons. And we need to make sure our kids know that not everyone is going to win, someone has to lose, and it may be us and it will suck, but we can work hard to improve. Kids need to know that losing isn't the worst thing in the world, the card above shows what is. :)
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